i deserve some slaps!
was
supposed to complete like so many stuff today.
nutrition ds
fsqm case study
part of fdal report or sth
abit on fd pro b
i did.
err.
none.
:(
no.
i dinn sleep for the whole afternoon.
(boo boo. to prove you wrong sheryl, i used toothpicks to push my eyelids apart at 3pm!)
i did sth MORE meaningful.
(personal opinion)
i..
i..
i..
bloghopped.
-.=
i need to stop being so curious over every other thing.
i need to control my urge to know more about every single thing.
i need i need.
and so,
the whole afternoon and night was used
meaningfully looking at someone's archives.
& i completed the whole thing like i completed watching the whole drama series.
:)
GRR.
& due to the no-nappings in the afternoon,
im slightly slightly sleepy now!
maybe i cann do those tml instead!
:)
spoke at : 11:03 p.m.
a night meant for some early rest was used,
talking on the phone!
LOL.
i seriously need some time management lesson!
MUAHAHA!.
budd i enjoy the chats thou!
so,
worth it!!
FYP report finally submitted.
budd i dunno whether its good or bad news.
:(
ppt is coming up.
& preparation have yet to start.
maybe tml?
or wed?
hais.
sleepless nights are gonna be back soon.
& busy weekends too!
they are the sole reason why i wann the school term to end early!!!
i cant stand these!!!
okok.
enough of complaints!
time to go to bed!
Bye!
spoke at : 12:59 a.m.
used-
a very very strong word.
a word that you might have belittled its strength.
i was just about to repeat the mistake someone did.
- not clearly defining the word 'used'
yet,
it does sound appropriate at the current situation.
i hope what im thinking aint true.
i hope what im feeling is just 'another thought'.
praying hard for it.
i seriously cannot take anymore 'shocks' from you again.
one more time,
&what we have got back will be gone.
come to think of it,
does it really matters to you in the first place?
tsk tsk.i must be too tired to think things this way.too tired.i hope.
spoke at : 7:40 a.m.
i think im very soft hearted at times.
GRR.
i need to learn to be firm in my stand!
lols.
i need a stress-less shower.
i need a worry-free sleep.
i need a comfy clothing.
i need a big bed.
i need cookie monster.
i don't need my laptop.
i don't need my ref. docs.
i don't need any alarm clocks.
i don't need any ref books.
I WANT TO SLEEP PROPERLY.
LIKE ALWAYS.
MONDAY IS TML
TML IS MONDAY.
thats how not true.
tml is sunday.
STILL SUNDAY.
when cann i submit the report and get the burden off my shoulder?!
spoke at : 10:52 p.m.
ANGRY
ANGRY
ANGRY
the two never fail to make me feel pissed whenever im busy with work.
i think they seriously have a problem with me feeling occupied with school work.
你们可以在无理取闹一点, you know?
spoke at : 6:44 p.m.
yawns*
im feeling so tired and drained.
the whole weekend was spent at yx's nest,
chionging the horrible fyp report.
at least now,
the intro part is somehow done.
hopefully,
we cann complete somemore tml.
:)
8am lesson still sucks.
esp if we have to sleep late the night before.
im so so so tired.
p.s.
alexander - the indonesian guy i just knew is so funn.
LOL
its so funny when he doesnt understand my singlish& chi-hokk-glish!
:XX
spoke at : 10:45 p.m.
the day she called my number the most,
was the day she asked me to leave home.
im not sure how im going to react to it.
im already very tired.
very very tired.
spoke at : 8:39 p.m.
i wanna drink white chocolate dream
badly.yet,
i couldnt find any nearby coffee bean stores.
:(
means,
no white choc dream today.
unless i drop by sun plaza on the way back,
which is totally 'out of the way'.
singapore has only 41 coffee beans store.
and apparently,
they doesnt offer delivery services.
ok,
thats lame.
imagine them coming up with a cup of drink,
saying, mdm, your delivery.
and when you take it over,
the ice blended drink became iced drink.
:(
or that,
they push a cart to your doorstep,
mix& match the ingredients before passing you the drink.
cool.
ok.
im not thinking properly.
pork is haunting me badly.
:(
spoke at : 2:41 p.m.
躲在一个小角落，
抱着温暖的抱抱，
肚子却隐隐作痛。
想专心的做事，
但一直心不在焉。
烦啊！
真烦！！
:(
spoke at : 2:46 p.m.
im back from all those muggings!
:)
LOOK!
i woke up at
340am to STUDY today!
something great achieved okay!
credits to ohsijia too for giving me that morning call.
the last time i
succeeded doing this was sometime around O level bio paper.
and it was cuz pang threatened me badly,
so i unwillingly drag myself out of my comfort zone!
i wasnt a morning person.
never was.
(i dunn even wake up early to play/watch vids - home based)
i cant even wake up at 6 or 7 without snoozing my alarm at least twice.
(im weak i know! LOL)
therefore,
to wake up at such hour to study is..
sth diff.
:)
& very surprising!
in conclusion,
i really wasnt a morning person.
i bet not much went in during the period i woke up!!
so,
it will be years down the road before i'll be doing things like this again.
^.^
NO MORE 340am!
HURRAY.
quizzes have finally come to an end.
reports are floating up again.
thou not so early due this time round.
for now, have to focus on fyp.
very sad.
yet, nothing much could be done.
let's just hope that,
mid december will hurry arrive,
yet pass slowly.
on the other hand,
with it arriving soon,
it will also means the submission of report and the ppt will be coming SOON.
ARHH.
stresssss!
:(
i want to go to sleep.
SOON.
spoke at : 9:10 p.m.
haha.
after that sentence from sijia this morning,
i did realised that true enough,
i have been shunning from quite a number of 'ppl'.
:X
not all are 'funny' thou.
just that,
maybe im too fussy,
or otherwise known as high expectation.
or maybe the time just aint right.
i did meet one or two whom i very much wanted to get involved with,
budd sth pulled me back.
family,
time,
etc.
there were loads of problem going underneath &it was hard to explain.
budd,
i do believe that it wasnt due to that darkness period that i once faced.
after all,
it had been long,
& we're on talking terms again.
we were young& ignorant back then,
so the mistakes that we made were like,
you know, childish& lack of thoughts.
its just that,
sometimes what happened aftermath (like the recent incident) do affect me a lil (or maybe much, if you insist).
i believed that i have let go of the neg. side
& to stand up on my own feets again.
it might be hard to believe,
budd he was worried he had affected me much due to it too.
LOL
don't worry.
i will find the right one.
soon enough.
: )
if not,
i'll continue searching..
till he appears.
无论在天涯海角，
有缘自然会相遇。
ya, sounds abit 童话.
LOL
:D
spoke at : 6:45 p.m.
at the end of the day,
it was friends who made me smile.
: )
哭泣了一场后，
才发现，
自己其实有多累。
累得快喘不过气了。
期待的，
再也不是那温馨的晚餐了。
那晚餐再也不温馨了。
从前的日子是那么的美。
那么的‘幻想般’。
那么的遥远。
带着遗憾，
外加 reports& datasheets,
往前走吧。
spoke at : 7:38 p.m.
if weekdays are VERY sucky.
then,
weekends are worst.
i hate weekends.i hate busy weekends.i hate to be busy with schoolwork on weekends.and he has to keep bombarding me sms-es when i repeated like a million and one time that i m very very busy.
*frowns.
i feel like throwing my phone away now!!
spoke at : 3:56 p.m.
i always believed that
what is meant for you,
will be yours.
eventually.勉强是没有幸福的。the talk with papa last night,
further affirmed my thoughts.
maybe the way i think is different from others,
maybe the way i gave in is different too.
budd,
till date,
i still feel the same as what i thought initially.
papa says he'll talk to him about it indirectly.
and ask me to wait for changes.
but,
at the end of the day,
izzit necessary?
mutants do change back to their original form after some time, don't they?
so does humans.
when i meant that the problem lies with the diff in character,
it meant the deepest part of a human.
the true-est in a person.
and also,
the hardest to tackle.
so how long will the change take?
1 month?
1 year?
10 years?
if things start to have a change within 1 month,
wow.
i must say he is someone who is easily influenced.
and then,
he will continue to change& change till one day,
i might not recognised him anymore.
if things are gg to take 1 or even 10 years,
i think i might have already found someone else who fits more into what i wann,
or that
he already found someone new.
you see you see.
either way its not feasible.
maybe at the end of the day,
it boils down to the point that,
i am just unwilling to accept him into my life.
like what papa says,
if i have the heart,
things cann be done.
maybe,
the heart is not there.
maybe,
he still doesnt have enough 'power' to make me change my current lifestyle to fit him in.
maybe its not him who is going to change my thought,
or even,
maybe its not me that he will be changing for.
我没有嫌弃。
只是不想去尝试。
尝试等待他的改变。
尝试真正接受他。
或许等待的不是他。
就这样而已。
或许，我依然等待着，那第三次的机会。等待着可以挽回遗憾的那个。只是，我一直不想承认罢了。或许，
我应该停止自欺欺人了。
执着也不一定会得到幸福。
papa is a good guy.
mama 会幸福的。
朋友，
你要继续幸福下去。
挫折一定会发生。
但我相信，
papa will hold your hands,
to brave thru the storm together.
:D
* i think im very easily psycho-ed!!
only after a night's talk, im like on his side already.
gosh.
i should learn to be more firm in certain things.
LOL*
spoke at : 11:19 a.m.
i think i like mysterious people.
people who cann capture my curiosity.
people who hides stuff that spikes up my curiosity.
people who are new.
yet, people who cann talk!
LOL
spoke at : 11:35 p.m.
当泪水已干，
当你想哭却哭不出来，
当你觉得一切都无所谓了。
IFi die,
i would:
(1) like to be buried in a blue coffin (yes, pretty!)
(2) buried with my cookie monster (for now)
(3) buried in somewhere far away from schools and buildings related to study
(4) have loads of different coloured tulips surrounding my coffin
(5)
not like to have a tombstone with my full/real name on it. (no specific reason, i just wanna be unknown.)
btw i said IF.
: )
spoke at : 6:14 p.m.
潇洒
是我一向喜欢的作风。
但，
我突然变得一点也不洒脱。
婆婆妈妈地，
拖拖拉拉地。
应该也把周围的人累坏了。
明明知道这个时候根本不可能。
明明知道自己与别人不同，
但依然执着的踏出了这一步。
为的就是想证明自己或许可以。
或许事情是有希望的。
或许事情会有所转变。
但，
都说了是或许。
即使在或许下去，
事情也只能到这里。
没什么好烦的事情，
却因为自己的执着，
烦了好久好久。
事情，
应该到一个段落了。
我应该对他坦白，
应该对自己坦白了。
婷婷也好累。
spoke at : 3:41 p.m.
期待跟习惯是相连的吗？
我不期待，
但我已习惯。
习惯性的在莫些时刻受到简讯，
习惯性的在莫些时刻回他简讯。
万一，
那天，
简讯不再出现，
电话不再响起，
我应该会很不习惯吧！
有些理所当然
但这是有原因的。
不知所措，
所以没有行动。
请你谅解。
-----------
bothered,
very bothered.
andd i think i made myself felt very bad after ystd's incident.
LOL
i thought he would like,
ERR, forget it lar.
she's taking things for granted.
:S
yet,
things turned out otherwise.
:X
i shouldn't have tested ppl's limit like this,
budd,
i just feel like doing it
leh.thou bro says he wunn really mind if its him.
LOL
--------------------
im feeeeling so floaty.
im having a splitting headache.
my head weighs kilos now!!!
and my neck aches like crap!
I THINK I M SICK AGAIN.
when i haven fully recover from the recent flu/cough.
ARHHHH.
stresss arh.
like that how to study!
must have been the frequent get along sessions!
andd the frequent late night sleeps!
i have been sleeping at hours where ppl are ready to get up to work.
(those early morning shift ppl!)
:(
yawns*
school starts tml.
and,
im still in the sleep in mode.
i hate school.
:'(
spoke at : 8:55 p.m.
im still alive,
thou no longer kicking.
how do i go about kicking when:
words refuses to save my document after i clicked 'save'.
& now that i cant find that document in my computer when i feel so much like dying.
& to solve this problem,
theres only one solution.
and that will be:
REDO the whole damn thing.
i hate elearning still.
no matter how 'late' i cann get to sleep in.
*stares at clock blankly.
its 203 am.
i wonder if i cann still rmb clearly what i wrote in the past 1 hour.
spoke at : 2:01 a.m.
my fingers are extra clumsy now due to the fattening process caused by:
plasters!!!
my two thumbs looked so swollen now,
and they are so insensitive!!
:(
this is the first time i had so much plasters on my fingers!
and,
i certainly do hope this will be the last time!
:D
spoke at : 12:38 a.m.
im thankful for the great friends around me.
those who are willing to hear me out all night about my existing problems.
those who are willing to share with me their existing problems all night.
those who are willing to spend the night accompanying me during the
darkest period.
those who are willing to wait while i do my stuff during late nights.
those who sacrifices so much,
just to see a smile.
:)
heart you all many many.
so,
tingting gonna sleep slightly earlier to stop people(s) from worrying!
nightsy ppl,
thou its not VERY early now.
spoke at : 2:29 a.m.
the cuts are:
VERY PAINFUL
VERY VERY PAINFUL
EXTREMELY PAINFUL
rubbing hands when washing hands made it hurts like i got sliced again.
and,
i got two deep cuts!
PAIN ARH
--------------------
i cant seem to concentrate since monday!
what happppen!!!
have beeen sleeping late in the night,
yet being least productive at all.
its..
bothering me alot.
GRR
spoke at : 1:55 a.m.
冷冷的冰雨在脸上胡乱的拍暖暖的眼泪跟寒雨混成一块LOL.
i just
happen to 'recall' this super super old song at this hour cann.
:X
#
因为是好人，
所以才在乎。
#
我应该有好久没有这么犹豫过了。
但，也不见得是件好事。
btw,
did i mentioned that ginseng wasnt from food tech?
LOL.
i heard what you did, pinda!
:X
spoke at : 12:52 a.m.
tingx-