i cant handle this on daily basis, yet i couldnt break apart from this relationship so simply like any other bgr. the fact is, we cant get along. yet, we cant do anything to improve the situation. to make things worse, we have to stay together, due to obligations, due to complications, due to many other factors.
face to face, yet, no words spoken. not that we have great minds that think alike, or that we could read each other's mind. budd sadly, its becuz, we know that any words that would have come out, will hurt each other badly.
its tiring to see one another, to face the problem, yet being helpless to all that is happening between us.
i still wanna run away, like i always did when i faced problems. yet, there's some part in me, that is holding me back, andd eventually, i still couldnt bring myself to do it.
feeeling so neutral now, that this feeling sorta scare me. im so numb, i think i scared those ard me too. budd if i dunn do this, we will all break down eventually, andd, 'it will be all because of me' again.
let's just see how long this cann last, before that final part of me finally submit myself to fate, to affinity, to leave where i once belonged.
spoke at : 6:23 p.m.
september 27, 2007
因为了解， 所以不想离去。 但也因为了解， 所以害怕继续。
有些不知所措。 有些犹豫。 真不知如何是好。
----------------------
I MET UP WITH SHEILA TAY! hohoho! i think i m damn surprised with this successful meet up too! :X
went steamboat (鲜得来) with sheila& yy this evening. AND, i realised we ate for 2.5 HOURS. omg!! we three are gigantic& slow eaters. thou, it only reflects on two of us. :X
sheila tay is damn skinnnny! andd tanned! LOL other than that, she is still as crappy!! still walks on her toes to give the bouncy effect. still as crazy as we used to be! MOHOHO.
crapped so much, we dinn realised we are that full and kept ordering!! :X we busied the people in the store alot. (as we were the only customers at 530pm!) and, we kept refilling!!! :X i think they must be super upset over our presence la!!! they must have made a tiny loss upon our arrival! ooooops/.!
took many crazy photos after that. thou sheila have to leave early to meet her friends, andd me, to rush home for the yet to be completed sensory form. :S
andd, YY IS A BIG PERVERT. lols!! you know why! :P
off to bed now.
spoke at : 10:27 p.m.
september 26, 2007
LSL decided to be evil to us.
WE (as in sj, yx& me) thought happily that there will only be briefing for his prac on thurs (24 mins to go, btw). budd, he totally disappointed us, by,
announcing that there is practical session. not briefing, not exemption, BUT PRACTICAL SESSION!
:( there goes the plan to shop ard with sheila& yy!! GRR. was still happily suaning yy that i shall meet up sheila secretly first! AND NOW, THEY HAVE TO RESERVE SEATS FOR ME! :((((
i m starting to hate fd pro B! especially after learning that dr saw HAS GOT TWO HOURS SLOT for the module. sobs!!!!
-------
wicked wobble decided to be stern to lazy ppl like us!! they change the ratio from 6+ to 2+!!!! i used to be able to get 1000 w/o much problem!! budd now 500 is a prob too!! :(
things haven been going on smoothly!! AND. imfeeling tired! HOHO.
spoke at : 11:36 p.m.
september 24, 2007
im a 窝囊废. dunn ask me why. i just am! ;)
this journey of my life, i have learnt one thing, grasp it well, & perform it nicely.
avoid-
be it small or big, impt or not. regardless of the relevancy, or the need. as long as i cant handle it, face to face. that word will turned into my action! :S
spoke at : 10:55 p.m.
holidays are short. but sweet.
this moment, marks the last long holiday i will have, before i graduate.
not much of holidaying in fact, (was more busy with fyp!! :( ) budd, was well spent, with sufficient meetups! ;D
zoo was the most memorable, followed by the kbox!
i hope the next one wunn be during the december holidays thou! :x
i miss you girls!! miss jo alot tooo!! bet you are having loads of funn over there at brisbane! ;)
let's all meet up when you return, before 14 NOV please. we have to be more sincere in meeting up you know! LOL! and, we'll have loads of stories to hear!! *clear throat.
YES YES, GLADYS KOH, MEET UP AFTER YOUR PROMO!!! you've been missing out some fun!! ;)
time for a good night sleep. 8am lesson cann be sucha torture.
spoke at : 12:37 a.m.
september 22, 2007
this is the kfc season for me.
i have been eating kfc, since i dunno when, at least once every two weeks.
suck.
mummy& daddy is into the kfc thingy tooo!!!!! faints**
yes. i had kfc this afternoon yet again!!! :X
i feel so full and bloated now, cuzzzz. i chosen a wrong dinner! LOLOL!
i need LIME& LEMON& GREEN TEA! MUAHAHAH!
(just take it as i cant accept the fact that school is reopening sooon!)
talking about that, i have successfully turned my neopets, from an average intelligence, to a total genius! WOHOOOO! (i can feel my brother giving me cold stares as i grinned upon typing this sentence! :S) its not easy okkkk! playing games while finding a reasonable price of the books i want!! some books are just so pretty in looking!!! and at times, they still find that book boring! #%$&%$*#* dunno how to be grateful de! humhps! AND, if we cann be so intelligent by these means, i dunn mind man! HOHOHO!!!!!
spoke at : 11:03 p.m.
september 19, 2007
i feel more tired during holidays i realised. despite having more hours to sleep, i felt as thou i slept lesser!
fyp is crazy. absolutely crazy. the pork just got more& more smelly!!!
work is piling up. thou holidays have yet to end.
i have no wish in starting sch so sooon. yet, i cant wait for sch to start! im so contradicting! muahah!
so tired so tired! yet i cant sleeeep now! haisssss..
--- kbox was super duper funn. sang kstudent for 4 hours plus! have to leave early as i meeting someone at 6 plus!!! :( if not, i cann sing for another hour! WAHAHA.
tidbits were nice!!! to have refills& refills!! omg!!! andd. there is only two rooms used!!! WAHAHAH! so is practically our world. with only our voices filling up the emptiness of the corridor!
andd. it is indeed a horrifying idea. cuz we sang... HOKKIEN SONGS kiddish songs! act cute songs!! & super duper old songs!
me& yy even attempted to sing da bei zhou!! the buddha song!! omggggg. yes!! the people there all wanted to faint! wahahahah!
andd yy is a pro in hokkien songs!! she cann sing so many songs so welllll! unlike us the noobs!!! HAHA!
i wanna go k again!!! and let's go suntec's again!! so we cann sing as loud as we wann! as dui lian as we like! MUAHAHA!
spoke at : 8:56 p.m.
september 17, 2007
i think.
i cann finish spending the money i made from the last three days, within. a week. :(
I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO BUY! omg. i hate myself sometimes!!! always buying things that are not required! LOL.
i will see how it goes. budd i m sure i will be able to spend at least half of it, within this week.
ARGH. i cant resist to shop whenever i have money! WHY! #%@#^*$&(%*&)%
spoke at : 10:44 p.m.
i m still so in the 'working' mood. my mind still have stuff like:
"hey sir, you using this brand currently?" or "hi mdm, lens solution for you?" or even "hey, promotion for eye drops& lens solution"
OMG. looking back at the pay, i dunn mind working for another two days. two more days will do. if not, i will really fall apart.
waking up at 7 every morning for three straight days, standing for at least 11 hours (not including unlucky days w/o seats on buses/train) sleeping at 11+pm, is not an easy task. at least to me!
I. HAVE. . . difficulty sleeping at eleven. i swear. %*^#($#(!)^)$%
i dunno why. must be due to the frequent late night sleeps.
but. I HAVE TO! if not, waking up at 7am will prove to be as tough!
gosh. my sleeping hours is in a mess now! :S
thanks to myself. HEE.
work was enjoyable. at least. i need not worry for sales. :D no more three or five sets sold per day. PHEW.
was super relieved when the first deal came at 11am on friday. SUPER SUPER RELIEVED. at least this prove that im not the lucky after-6pm salesgirl. met some funn people.
cindy& jac, both from raffles med promoting supplements too! they made me missed sch life so badly. (no, they ARE NOT students!) (and, im the youngest among the three ok! HEEEE!) (on a second thought, im the biggest among them size.>)
andd jac has a 1yr old super cute baby girl!!! & many many nice sch life story!! ^.^
lunch break were as sucky as sijia's i have to worry 24/7 about my customers, free gifts and so forth!!!! cant even have a meal properly!!! budd, i still manage to get myself white choc dream on the last day!! YUM!
AND AND AND! my in charge is super super nice! first day stayed with me for a whole day! andd bought me lunch. AND HELP ME PROMOTE! lolols!!!! so nice yea?!
and and. she was our senior cannnnn!!! she was in food tech, long long time ago!!! LOL!
she only knew.. MRS SER! & MRS KU! muahahahha.
she dunn even know LSL and NTH!! omgg. budd she dunn look that old laR! she look so young& modern cann! ;DD
yawns* im so tired now!!!! i still haven gotten over my new-found sleeping hours& free hours!!!!!
I FEEL LIKE SLEEPING. NOW! muahahaha! nights ppl!
spoke at : 10:51 a.m.
september 13, 2007
think twice when you say those hurtful words. when you tried to hurt me, you are hurting yourself too.
dunn assume, just like you always did. :(
when i tried, you pushed me away,
when i dinn, you screamed and said it was my fault.
no. things aint that mild as you think. they are more serious thana you cann ever think.
i dunno how to let you in. because, i cant unlock it myself.
im feeling tired. slightly drowsy. i feel like im floating.
ithinkiminheaven.
spoke at : 11:39 p.m.
DAMN IRRITATED! GRRRRRRRRRRRR.
the whole world cann give in to me EXCEPT YOU TWO. EXCEPT YOU TWO.
call yourselves damn bloody shitty blood related. EVEN A FRIEND UNDERSTANDS ME BETTER THAN YOU.
to hell.
if you dunn like saying things thru your mouth, dennnn WHY DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THE OPPOSITE.
i see no reasons why you should get so pissed off. i dunn understand. ANDD I WILL NEVER KNOW. so forget it.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU SET YOUR EXPECTATIONS TOO HIGH ON ME?!
HELLLLO~~! things that even you cant do, DUNN EXPECT ME TO DO CAN!
I SOUND LIKE A SEC TWO KID BLABBERING ABOUT MY UNHAPPINESS I KNOW. I AM AS UNHAPPY AS THEN. NO. SHOULD BE SINCE THEN.
dunn say things like i know you will whatsoever. YOU DUNN. YOU CANT EVEN THINK OF WHAT I WILL BE DOING NEXT. DAMN IT.
eh hey. tell you what. THE BEST THING THAT YOU CANN GIVE TO ME IS: stop bothering me. i dunn need your concern whatsoever. i dunn yearn for it anymore. so just forget it. LEAVE ME ALONE AND I WILL BE GLAD.
I AM STILL SO PISSED. I FEEL LIKE CHECKING THE RESULTS NOW SO I CANN SCREAM OFF ALL MY UNHAPPINESS AT ONE GO! ARGHS!
spoke at : 10:35 p.m.
september 12, 2007
the rock is placed down finally. period.
at least i cann have a peaceful sleep later. budd my head still hurts! :(
spoke at : 9:51 p.m.
i never understood why
HE JUN XIANG DOESNT UPDATE HIS BLOG! :(
he has got only two entries for the year 2007! LOOK AT THE DATE NOW! IS SEPTEMBER ALREADY!
faints......
he's sucha busy man! :(
andd when is he coming over for the xuan chuan for WHY WHY LOVE?!
spoke at : 8:44 p.m.
wang zhuan yi is not as old as we (MAYMAY, xuanxuan& me!) thought so.
he is only.. only.. 27.
born in the yr 1980. May 5. at least still in the 1980s region right~!
on second thought, ERRR. maybe a bit old for us! LOL!
andd i realised.. xuanxuan gets 'tian' dao by more "mature& older" guys!!! HEE HEE! am i right??!
=P andd. he wasnt from K one. he was from comic boys (disbanded alr!). LOL!
i think since sec sch, i haven been able to differentiate the members in this two boybands! :S
okok! as promised. xuan!!
i like the one where he was throwing the dart! HAHA. budd. i still prefer he jun xiang!! :P andd HE IS ONLY 23! MUAHAHA!
spoke at : 8:32 p.m.
september 10, 2007
the shuai-est! WITH SPECS. faints*
the original blogger says:
his eyes cann talk!
^.^
it indeed cannnnn!
I WANNA FIND THE PART WHERE HE HAD A SMALL ACCIDENT WITH HIS BIKE AT THE END!
THE PART WHERE HE WAS SOBBING SO BADLY.
AND.
put it on my currently faceless voodoooo!
MOHOHOHO!
the idea of hugging his photo to sleep makes me feel so awake NOW!
lols!!
xuan,
i will post up huo yan's photos maybe tml night!
andd,
it wunn be just one or two i promise!
HAHA!!
;D
meanwhile,
ENJOY THE SHOW!
spoke at : 11:58 p.m.
i think uploading video is faster than flooding my entries with pics. thou, i will still be doing the latter till i ran out of his photos! LOL
spoke at : 11:29 p.m.
YOU TELL ME HOW TO RESIST?
HOW TO!
spoke at : 9:54 p.m.
i was looking around for more tang yu zhe's picture to satisfy my 'flower-eating'-ness (http://serratia.blogspot.com/, quoted from MAYMAY)
i swore i typed "tang yu zhe" & "danson tang". in return, i got so many other photos. hua yang front cover. many wuzhun& ella. HE JUN XIANG. (i dunno why either) zheng yuan chang. many other non related photos.
andd, only a handful of tang yu zhe's. the most OH MY!! photo i came across was:
.
.
MEITIAN. i mean, tang zhi ping. andd this pic totally make me go ARH? i think he should just stay with that mei tian look. it looks more. err. decent. :S
back to tang yu zhe. i think he is so gonna hate me after this post! LOOK!
ok. i will stop being mean!
nicer one here!
they say:
save the best for the last.
andd i personally think.
the one with the specs is the best!!
pretty!
spoke at : 9:25 p.m.
i feel like watching hua yang again. cuz. i think. i.
didnt quite notice nan xue zhang in the show! i was overly gaga with mei tian. (p.s. the attractive way he plays with his hair still lingers in my mind! LOL)
i suddenly think that tang yu zhe is super sweet& pretty in the show! LOL andd i wanna re watch becuz........ i think its the hair that makes him look so pretty in the show! his looks on his latest MV doesnt attracts me that much! hahahas.
and i wanted to watch zhong ji yi jia initially. (yes, just to catch the glimpse of tang yu zhe) budd, they made the starting so jap anime like those masked rider 555. which i dunn like!! THEREFORE.
LETS RE WATCH HUA YANG TOGETHER SIJIA!!!
spoke at : 9:06 p.m.
september 08, 2007
I M A PIG. i spent my whole saturday wisely. BY NUA-ING IN BED.
thats a great luxury ok! tell me how many of you did that! :P
i managed to sleep awhile in the afternoon thou. after pondering the whole morning to continue sleeping or not.
di said my first words when i was awake was: i am so sleepy. i still wanna sleep.
:X
i am so horrible. and i ate immd when i wake up from my nap! OH MY. how pig cann i be!!!
hahahas holidays are nice!!!!
spoke at : 9:53 p.m.
september 07, 2007
in conclusion, ANTS LOVE PORK. budd, I HATE PORK.
so, ANTS HATE ME. cuz i tried destroying all porks! :S
im so tired. im so sick. of pork. :S
spoke at : 10:50 p.m.
september 05, 2007
the pain lingers. in the heart.
you'll never get to understand.
spoke at : 10:13 p.m.
ZOO was NOTHING budd...
FUNN!!!
showtimes are the best! otters are cute creatures! so are the tigers& zebra& giraffe!!
andd.. we found 'Growie', the giraffe that shares the birthdate as sijia, thou 15 yrs younger than her! OOOPS/.!
anddd. she is also as fair as sijia! LOL =x (i will get slapped later.)
will have more updates when i get hold of the pictures. :)
MEANWHILE. i have to. GO FOR FYP! :(
we needa chiong tooo. like what marcus says, thats for paying back the slacking periods we had before that! oooops/.
spoke at : 9:47 a.m.
september 03, 2007
i hope this year's christmas will come soon!
then..
I CANN BUY FOURTEEN dustbins for gift exchanging! ;)
IM SO KIND. i know the people living up there has NO dustbins.
yes yes. my block has FIFTEEN storeys.
spoke at : 12:49 p.m.
i think i watched too much shows.
i m watching shows even in my dreams. OH GOODNESS.
i woke up this morning, as late as always. mumbling sth like: "why mummy says there is a lot of getais. dunn have ar. only one scene got."
-.=!!!
I DREAMT OF MYSELF WATCHING 881!!!!
of cuz, my dream is totally different from the real show, since i have not watched it yet.
andd in my dream, "my 881" has only one scene of getais, with loads of other scenes which i cant totally remember. :X
i think i m horribly hopeless! LOL
spoke at : 11:51 a.m.
i m doing sth different tonight.
DUE TO MUM'S UNFRIENDLY THREATEN....
i decided.
to.
SLEEP NOW!
looks at time! yes. not even close to one! MUAHAHA! the earliest i turned in. minus the day after the marathon!!!
beauty sleep. HERE I COME!
spoke at : 12:13 a.m.
september 02, 2007
MAYMAY just spelt out what i did for the past week! OMG. how did she know?!!
yes. i dinn wake up before eleven everyday last week, cept for friday. :S wanted to crawl out of bed earlier to grab macs' hotcakes budd failed utterly.
anddd. of the time i m awake.. 60% - computer. (youtubing la, what else! lols!) 35% - TV 5% - miscellaneous (toilet breaks etc)
ok. im such a loser.
tml will be better. cuz. i m digging out bro's toy to play! LOL!! andd my long-buried jigsaw puzzles!!
i hope i will be able to get out of bed tml before ten. :X
spoke at : 11:19 p.m.
i m. . . . .
BACK TO NEOPETS.
andd. WOW. everything looks so different. :S
AND MY PET IS 1700+ old alr! SO OLD! oooops/.
everything has changed. the layout etc.
budd one fact still remains.
MY PETS ARE STILL DYING! =x
spoke at : 12:13 a.m.
september 01, 2007
i dunno since when, my fridge decided to join sijia's fridge club!
complicated. not really laa.
my fridge has been kept empty for some time i noticed. with a once in a while special appearance of some fruits. and an occasion stocked up with aloe vera. gone were the days where it was stuffed with foods of different varieties. gone were the days where i need to spend about 5 mins each time to arrange the stuff in order to find space for their new members.
NOW. 5 secs is all i need. open, sian, close. open, dump, close.
$^&%^%(*$^&!!! mum decided to learn some kungfus from sj's mummy! now, my fridge is soooo empty i feel so lonely at home!! mummmy cannnnnnot!!! :((((
andd i cant really do anything about it. becuz. the supermart here SUCKS. THEY DUNN EVEN HAVE CHIPSMORE CANN! I DUNN UNDERSTAND! SIMPLY COULDNT!
andd as a result, i have hunger pangs almost every other day at this hour.... especially if the shows i m watching is featuring some delicacies!!! I FEEL SO SAD NOW WITHOUT FOOD!
-----------------------------------
sent jo off to aussie. think she will be back only after 5 weeeks. im so gonna miss her!! :( and, i do feel relieved that i m not staying opposite you anymore. if not, i will get so emo when i see your lights being turned off so early!
i think im starting to miss you already! :( BE BACK SOON!! andd have funn there!!
thats if you cann see it! and prays that you have INTERNET CONNECTION! lols!!
-------------------------------
MASSIVE ATTACK from BREEKS! is all that i had for my dinner tonight. ohh, andd that two slices of tomatoes shu fed me. I M SO HUNGRY!
i think i m so random today. must have been too tired. nightsy!
tingx- 
spoke at : 6:23 p.m.
