感觉很低落 .
不.
不是因为今天玩得不开心.
也不是因为我又和他们吵架了.
只是 , 偶然间 , 心中变得情绪化罢了.
i always wondered.
how come adults always have 101 reasons to rebutt your explanations, your actions.
andd.
why does mine...
has millions of these excuses?!
andd no matter how hard i try.
they just have thousands to back up wadd i did.
andd.
in the end,
everything is back to square one.
why issit so,
that they always insist that they tried to trust,
when all that they said, all that they do,
tells me otherwise.
why issit so that they lie.
to give me hope.
to let me dream.
while destroying these lovely dreams at the end of the day.
why issit that they cann be so observant in everything else,
except for my feelings.
why cant they be truthful to me.
to themselves.
so that,
in the end we all wunn get hurt by each other.
yes.
communication is the key to open us up.
you wanted me to try.
budd when i did,
all that you returned was a cold face,
andd a do-i-look-like-i-cared look.
like how shitty.
andd in the end,
it is MY problem again.
have you ever see how hard i tried.
how much i did.
just to get myself some position in the family,
to get those trust from u guys?
to show to you guys that hey, i cann do it too.
have you ever wonder,
how tired am i,
when all that i did,
was rebutted.
with some ridiculous reasons that has been lying there for yrs
andd now then you tell me.
ever thought of that one day,
i will get sick of all these tryings.
tired of all these things i have changed.
tired of the new me.
sick of all these nonsense?
after all,
i m just a lil girl,
just yearning for more love and concern from her family.
more understanding parents.
i am so mentally drained.
i dunno how long more cann i hold on till.
i dunno how much more i have to do.
budd.
u just hope that,
you will be there to witness my changes one day,
andd i will be there for you to pat on my back.
spoke at : 10:14 p.m.
it has been two weeks back home.
andd.
i dunno why.
i m starting to miss the life back in nz.
=x
ya. so contradicting.
maybe because life back there seems more relaxing.
maybe because of other reasons.
budd.
i really miss living together with unnie& tong saeng.
=(
if we cann turn back the time...
spoke at : 6:41 p.m.
i m so sleepy now.
looks at time*
8pm. =x
thats for staying up all night to watch vcds!
grrr.
i should have known that i cant take the torture of waking up at 6am already.
andd yet
i made my life more miserable by sleeping later denn i should.
so..
i deserved it! =x
hais.
andd i've so much more things to do.
datasheets starting to flow in alr.
andd fyp ms leong says we cann start now.
faints*
i so wanna sleeeep.
lala.
i'll sleep after the delivery man comes!
i m so pig!
bleeah.
spoke at : 8:10 p.m.
- me with abby (my supervisor)
-us with yespreet& wife!!!
-me& jea with janiene..
- tada~
with RUUD.
hahas.
aiya forget it, email also dunn wann reply!
humphs!
ohh yahh.
did i ever mention..
wu zun is sooooo soooo.
i also dunno how to describe!
hahahas
is just a different kinda feeeling from he jun xiang!!!
hahahahaha.
okok.
overly engrossed le.
=xxx
spoke at : 11:03 p.m.
i m so bored!
i m bored till the extend of visiting ppl's blog twice a day w/o realising it!
gosh!
i m starting to worry abt my alt fridays!
no.
i
should must get it filled with activities!
hahahaha.
long holidays.
:/
spoke at : 11:42 p.m.
in primary sch-
we love pulling each other chair
& enjoy seeing ppl fall after that.
we love telling frens that 'i dunn wanna fren u'
thou we made up the very next day.
we love making funn of fren
calling them crude names & make them jump.
we love reading storybooks behind our textbooks
& gets high with sweet valley& babysitter's club.
we love playing hopscotch& crocodiles
& make ourselves sweaty& smelly after that.
we love to leave some stupid fringes
& gets mad when DM comes after us.
we love skipping lessons
& hopping to playgrounds nearby to play.
in sec sch-
we love hanging our PE shirts on the straps of our backpack.
we love bathing in school,
& wear slippers aftermath.
we love wearing oversized clothes.
we love wearing pants super low waist.
we love tucking out our uniforms.
and if we cant, we'll find means& ways to do sth similar.
we love getting scorched in the sun
& cries when we got sunburnt the next day.
we love to gossip ard
& talk on the phone/ conference till late night.
we love listening to discman,
while trying ways to hide the earphone.
we love sitting tgt in a big grp,
& have a chat-all-u-wann session during lessons.
we love night lessons.
cus theres always nice biscuits& drinks lying ard!
in poly-
we love lecturers who let us off early.
we love lecturers who give us loads of tips.
we love to make funn of funny lecturers.
we love to slack around.
we love it when lessons start late
budd hate it when it ends late.
we love off-days.
we love gaining cca points by going to concerts.
we love to shop ard when lessons end early.
we love to go k-box.
we love it....
when there is long long holidays.
andd now,
school life is going to be over soon.
andd replacing it,
will be horrible worklife!!
andd hopefully not so horrible uni life!
i dunn wanna graduate so sooon la!!!
i have yet to enjoy my school life to the fullest!!!
=((
spoke at : 9:18 p.m.
i seriously think/believe/assume/sense that...
no. he dinn received the mail..
if not.
WHY NO REPLY????
at least a thanks or sth ma..
=((
ok.
i hope he replies to this one!
if not.
theres nth i cann do actually.
hahahs!
anddd.
we chosen our fyp proj le!
hahahaha..
like so fast.
andd gan jiong!
=x
budd no choice.
ms leong v excited abt it!
hahahs.
i hope the stuff will go on well.
=))
no bad results!
no no!!
hee..
spoke at : 8:36 p.m.
didnt wanna change my blogskin initially...
liked it alot.
budd...
the image is removed by the owner!
=((
too badd.
so sad!
this skin MIGHT be temporary.
if i m not lazy..
hahas!
if nott..
a new skin will appear whennn sth happens again!
hahas!!
see ya!!
needa go do leg scrub!!
$^%$^&#sand flys!
spoke at : 9:51 p.m.
stupid sandfly!
they make my legs look so ugly now!
sobs!
and they itch like HELLLLL.
=(((((
arghs!
i hate sandfly!
bleah!
spoke at : 9:01 p.m.
finally back at home.
feel so nice!
budd.
weird tooooo!
everything seems so misplaced.
so short out of a sudden.
so small& squeezy too.
so flooded the streets..
so noisy the area!
soo many bu xi guan..
andd.
unnie& amui has gone missing@!!
no more hopping on beds.
jumping ard.
watching dewy dance!
crazy hairdos.
scary faces!!!
life is not the same anymore!
budd.
back to this nice lil nest
where everything is laid nicely.
where u used to& always will be is great too!
at least u wunn need to worry abt meals.
money matters.
household matters etc.
hais!
buddd.
again.
I MISS THE WEATHER.
i seems like i m in the oven alll the time.
or rather..
i m having a fever like 24/7!
andd i m stickyyyyy!!!
yuckkks.
why cant singapore be slightly more windy and less warm???
hahas!!
i gonna go back to my air con room now!!
yes now!!!!
hahahs!!
i do love nz.
just some parts!
*winks!
p.s: amui& unnie! no. NOT THE PILOT!. =PpP
spoke at : 11:03 p.m.
today is the last night we are spending here.
yea.
last night.loads of feelings implicated.
excited cus i finally gonna go home.
i miss home loads.
happy cus i finally get to go back to the place where i belong.
budd.
feeling abit sad at the same time.
gonna leave this town.
where it is a 'home' to me for at least 7 wks.
abit of yi yi bu she (or like wad a-mui says- yi bu she [lesser bu she])
andd.
ya da ya da...
i gonna miss so many people here.
ranging from owen, janiene, abby, all the way to jaspreet (maybe not that much. =x) and perhaps a lil of ruud, thanuja, WARWICK, garry etc.
hahas!!
lots of gan xiang..
budd dunno where to start describing from..
it just seems so weird.
=xx
maybe i will visit here again.
maybe never again.
budd.
i will definitely miss the days i spent here.
with unnie& amui.
yada yada.
emo again.
bleah!
home sweet home in another like 30 hours time?!
=)(
spoke at : 4:06 p.m.
ohhh nooo!!
big news!
o-ni& a-mui have gone crazy`
=(((
they were screaming in the rooms just now...
freaking out over the nearing of beauty sleeep!!!!
hahahss.
andd here i m using the com!!!
=xx
okok.
i will go to sleeep noww.
i meann.
return to my room!
hahas.
is cold here tonight!!!
=((
spoke at : 6:59 p.m.
we..
.
.
.
went horse riding today~!!
muahhahaha.
thou i almost fell from the horse.
=xx
evidence will be up when o-ni pass us the photos.
hahas.
horse riding.
i still cant believe it!
=)))
thx o-ni& her fren&co.
spoke at : 3:45 p.m.
yipppee.
i m coming home SOON.
all the up&downs are gg to end.
wheee.
actually.
come to think abt it.
its not that badd.
except for the housekeepers.
i m not that mad at them
yet..since they have never really irritate me
directly.buddd
its true that they cann be v horrible.
=((
andd we never know wadd the manager says behind our backs.
hais.
feel so upset about that
budd its okay.
like wadd ms leong says..
left one more week.
=))
they say sanguine needs peace once in a while.
yea.
thats very true.
since sanguines are a very noisy lot.
hahas!
something came up to my mind.
maybee..
i cann consider..
taking psychology after this!
hahahas.
spoke at : 12:41 p.m.
tingx- 
